<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?><rss xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/" xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom" version="2.0"><channel><title><![CDATA[Punch & Judy]]></title><description><![CDATA[Punch & Judy]]></description><link>https://www.nyupunch.com/all-news</link><generator>RSS for Node</generator><lastBuildDate>Sat, 30 May 2026 19:01:42 GMT</lastBuildDate><atom:link href="https://www.nyupunch.com/blog-feed.xml" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml"/><item><title><![CDATA["Birth of Punch &#38; Judy"]]></title><link>https://www.nyupunch.com/post/birth-of-punch-judy</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a0a32940b9e4f37fd2af52f</guid><pubDate>Thu, 21 May 2026 19:46:25 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/d14c31_e7ee031aebfc4545b8e3a4ff6a3b35f0~mv2.png/v1/fit/w_841,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Zachary H. Arnold</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Thank You, Linda]]></title><description><![CDATA[Dear Linda "The G" Mills, Thank you. Brilliance comes in many different forms, or so we thought, until we discovered the apex. Linda. How do we even begin? It would be easier to list everything she hasn't done for us. Us, as in the student body: a collective. Jane Doe, NYU Liberal Studies student, says: "Linda." Another student, Gallatin senior Kyle Kyleson, noted: "She's [the opposite of] satan, who [didn't] want the stair refurbishment? It is [not] censorship." And we couldn't have said it...]]></description><link>https://www.nyupunch.com/post/thank-you-linda</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a0a2dee2fd8b3b696948c76</guid><pubDate>Thu, 21 May 2026 19:46:21 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/d14c31_6d2c0af35b9946b6a9462242c33a8574~mv2.webp/v1/fit/w_908,h_338,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>August Culligan</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Zoobituaries]]></title><description><![CDATA[Cricket Noem, German Wirehair Pointer  Cricket Noem, aged 14 months died of “untrainable personality” and poor feasant hunting ability. Feared by the chickens of South Dakota, Cricket was a sassy bitch. Cricket is survived by Conservative Icon Kristi Noem, Totally Not Gay Bryon Noem, Some Children (presumably), and Reddit users. Noted in the autopsy was a gunshot. I’ll bet it was unrelated.  Central Park Cub, Black Bear  Central Park Cub, aged 6 months, was a skinny gal at only 44 pounds....]]></description><link>https://www.nyupunch.com/post/zoobituaries</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a0a2b1bd7b330c99a636dda</guid><pubDate>Thu, 21 May 2026 19:46:17 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/d14c31_f15686fe01ff47db8e821b2890c8c6a8~mv2.png/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Emma Lake</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[RIP Cricket Noem]]></title><link>https://www.nyupunch.com/post/rip-cricket-noem</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a0a2f1a8ba6aec9a80e4ead</guid><pubDate>Thu, 21 May 2026 19:46:12 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/d14c31_e8873dd27704482095847ea439457851~mv2.png/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Avinav Sharma</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Linda G. Mills Introduces Stern Plaza Precheck]]></title><description><![CDATA[Graphic by Zachary Arnold “Fear not, dear subjects,” Linda G. Mills announced from the balcony of her Upper East Side apartment this past Sunday. “We have heard your calls for justice, and we have listened to your demands.” The martyr herself then explained a new system—one that will solve all NYU community struggles. “We know the obstacles you in our beloved community face. We have seen the lines outside the gates of Stern! For you, dearest plebians, we offer Stern TSA PreCheck.” Church...]]></description><link>https://www.nyupunch.com/post/linda-g-mills-introduces-stern-plaza-precheck</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a0a26a5d7b330c99a636554</guid><pubDate>Thu, 21 May 2026 19:45:58 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/d14c31_52602e5acddb49e7a4c425793c0dd02a~mv2.png/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Emma Lake</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[NYU Begins Its Newest Construction Project: A Wall in NYU Berlin]]></title><description><![CDATA[Last week at NYU Berlin had students and locals alike bewildered by a large purple wall erected between the Northeast and Southwest sides of the city. The project follows a series of student protests against crackdowns on pro-palestinian speech led by the current German parliament, when several students claimed it was NYU’s Berlin campus that made the call to the police. “We cannot confirm or deny NYU Berlin’s involvement in the recent arrests, but we can confirm that negotiations were...]]></description><link>https://www.nyupunch.com/post/nyu-begins-its-newest-construction-project-a-wall-in-nyu-berlin</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a0a27dc0b9e4f37fd2adf52</guid><pubDate>Thu, 21 May 2026 19:45:45 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/d14c31_f2193e9f2d714798b16d999bb8b67efc~mv2.png/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Sue Dunham</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Post-Graduation Horoscopes]]></title><description><![CDATA[Silver School of Social Work Now is the best time to plant a tree. Yesterday was all dreary and wet. Dating a broke guy does not count as social work. Your lucky number is deep in the negatives. You may have to take out a loan. Tisch School of the Arts Be prepared for sunshine when you can no longer afford a roof. You should move out to Hollywood. Hollywood, Florida. Your lucky number is 2, the number of parents you have to have in the entertainment industry to succeed. College of Arts and...]]></description><link>https://www.nyupunch.com/post/post-graduation-horoscopes</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a0a30a10b9e4f37fd2af166</guid><pubDate>Thu, 21 May 2026 19:45:38 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/d14c31_9735f9649ec84ff9a56587c36d51611e~mv2.png/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Zachary H. Arnold</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[In a recent email to the NYU student body, head of campus safety, Fountain Walker, has come out as non-binary]]></title><description><![CDATA[DATE: April 1, 2026 TO: The NYU Community FROM: Fountain L. Walker, Vice President for Global Campus Safety RE: Realization About my Gender Identity During a recent arrest of a student protesting the reduction of gender affirming care at the NYU Langone Health Center I came to the realization that I am non-binary.  For many, this realization comes as no surprise.  My name is Fountain after all. I suppose, much like the water in the kiddie pool I was plucked from after my ceramonious water...]]></description><link>https://www.nyupunch.com/post/fountain-walker-comes-out</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a0a288fd7b330c99a6368c4</guid><pubDate>Sun, 17 May 2026 23:32:13 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/d14c31_9267b56276a5447db405898c79169894~mv2.jpeg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Chuck Les</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Linda G. Mills Steps Down (all the flights of Bobst Library and breaks her right leg)]]></title><description><![CDATA[President Mills took a big tumble last Wednesday down every flight of stairs in the 12 story Bobst Library. She had been practicing different ways to descend stairs just in case she ever has to make a big entrance at a gala, but around the 10th floor slipped in a large puddle of melted neapolitan icecream left there by a begrudged Tandon student.  She has since been spotted using a knee scooter to traverse campus and challenging small children on rollerblades to race her around the fountain...]]></description><link>https://www.nyupunch.com/post/linda-g-mills-steps-down</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a0a2910d7b330c99a6369bf</guid><pubDate>Sun, 17 May 2026 23:32:13 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/d14c31_39b383e3be124b258dd11e835d510ead~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_223,h_167,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Chuck Les</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Letter from the Editor April 2026]]></title><description><![CDATA[Dear University Students and other Village Peoples, It is with great pride and duty that I welcome you to this inaugural edition of the Punch &#38; Judy physical. It has been an honor to have made it this far, and we thank you all for the support we have been shown this past semester. For those who do not yet know us: We, the Punch &#38; Judy, are NYU’s newest humor magazine. We bring you this edition, the April 2026, after a grueling month of work. Every single part of this edition was developed,...]]></description><link>https://www.nyupunch.com/post/letter-from-the-editor-april-2026</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a0a32c5df43effc8ce2e92f</guid><pubDate>Sun, 17 May 2026 23:31:52 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/d14c31_571f271bf020423bbf1f090f9cca8792~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_694,h_520,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Zachary H. Arnold</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Girl Scout Troop Bakes a Splash]]></title><description><![CDATA[NYC Girl Scout Troop 6000 has been making their rounds in the news these past weeks for their positive effect on the homeless epidemic in New York City. Many are commenting on the great thing they are doing, it's benefiting the community, helping clean up New York City, and showing people the lovely camaraderie that the youth can have. For their dedication to New York, Mayor Zohran Mamdani gave the troop a key to the city. This was truly a special moment for the girls.  More importantly than...]]></description><link>https://www.nyupunch.com/post/girl-scout-troop-bakes-a-splash</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a0a24f78ba6aec9a80e3ae9</guid><pubDate>Sun, 17 May 2026 20:33:13 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/d14c31_65fe02d381e547178ad571a4a84a0cbc~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_677,h_508,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Adi Sadana</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[The Tourist]]></title><description><![CDATA[Photograph by Zachary H. Arnold 	I’ve seen how the other half lives. I have only just begun to live there, but I know it well. Quaint. They bathe in buckets. One would think it a far cry from our marble tubs, but marble is quite cold, and wood has a pleasantly soft texture. The luxuries of the poor never cease to amaze me. I am not averse to adversity. 	Let it be known, then, that I am not a wealthy man. My father was a wealthy man. His father was a wealthy man. His father was a wealthier man...]]></description><link>https://www.nyupunch.com/post/the-tourist</link><guid isPermaLink="false">69c1a3db69ed8cb882ab6ed3</guid><pubDate>Mon, 23 Mar 2026 20:53:13 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/d14c31_ad51ab95701a4d0d82d7bf52558d804a~mv2.png/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Zachary H. Arnold</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Horoscopes for Spring 2026]]></title><description><![CDATA[Aquarius Your birthday may bring a small fire and some horrid screeching. Consider putting all your stuff in a big canvas sack and giving it to the children of the world in one magical night. Your lucky number is 33 Red, but we aren’t sure what it means. Pisces The stars predict a beautiful woman will fall in love with someone who isn’t you. Go up to the CEO of that company you want to work for and give him a big, wet smooch right on the earlobe. Your lucky number is 3, the number of classes...]]></description><link>https://www.nyupunch.com/post/horoscopes-for-spring-2026</link><guid isPermaLink="false">69bc713d06e9acd4d41cc308</guid><pubDate>Thu, 19 Mar 2026 22:06:17 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/d14c31_9735f9649ec84ff9a56587c36d51611e~mv2.png/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Zachary H. Arnold</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[#BostonMilkParty]]></title><link>https://www.nyupunch.com/post/bostonmilkparty</link><guid isPermaLink="false">69bc671406e9acd4d41ca49e</guid><pubDate>Thu, 19 Mar 2026 21:17:01 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/d14c31_18830a3009774270b52176271f4a3297~mv2.png/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Zachary H. Arnold</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[The Effects of Political Action, 100 Years Later]]></title><link>https://www.nyupunch.com/post/the-effects-of-political-action-100-years-later</link><guid isPermaLink="false">69bc6599bec251fc0ba90389</guid><pubDate>Thu, 19 Mar 2026 21:11:45 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/d14c31_1bb9aff27e374cd8be37371d06d51fe1~mv2.png/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Zachary H. Arnold</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Trump Dies, Officials Unsure When Due to Daylight Savings]]></title><description><![CDATA[Donald Trump, seen here still taking meetings, has been giving much stiffer handshakes. On March 8th, at 1:00 AM, daylight savings time either started or ended. At approximately the same time, the White House reported that President Donald Trump had a heart attack, and no longer has a pulse or is breathing. However, he has not officially been declared dead and is, as of this moment, still President of the United States. White House officials have stated that they are still having difficulty...]]></description><link>https://www.nyupunch.com/post/trump-dies-officials-unsure-when-due-to-daylight-savings</link><guid isPermaLink="false">69bcbc06bec251fc0ba9fa1e</guid><pubDate>Sun, 08 Mar 2026 05:00:00 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/d14c31_401badb4a62346a6a9fac92526def29d~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Zachary H. Arnold</dc:creator></item></channel></rss>